Jessica Kelso

January 31, 2010

I’m pregnant!!!! Wow. We’re still in complete shock. This is so planned, yet still so unexpected.

This morning as I was getting ready bright and early to fulfill my nursery duties at church, I felt a little sick to my stomach. I thought maybe I was just hungry, but also remembered I was about a day late on getting my period. I figured I might as well give it a shot. If you know me and know the journey we’ve been on with trying to get pregnant, you know I had slightly given up. I mean, we were definitely still “trying” in every sense of the word – is that too graphic? – but I had stopped all the ovulation tests, stopped taking my temperature, and overall just stopped caring about trying to time things out perfectly. I stopped getting excited over late periods and stopped taking pregnancy tests early. The disappointment was getting to be a lot and this was just easier.

But this morning felt different. Kevin was in bed not feeling well and Thrasher was still sleeping, so I took the test and just stared at it preparing myself for the first letdown of the new year. Within just a couple of seconds, I saw a second line. Of all the pregnancy tests I’ve taken, I’ve never even seen the fainest second line. I was in shock. I read the directions one more time just to be sure that’s what a positive meant, opened the bathroom door and went running into the bedroom. . . screaming, “I think we’re pregnant!!” After a bit of crying and “are you sure?! are you sure?!” I had to get ready to leave. I had one more pregnancy test I wanted to take to be sure but I was all out of pee by then, so I had to head to church knowing this big news and not being able to tell a soul. A friend I was working with in the nursery even told me about her dream recently that I was pregnant and she said she knew it was going to happen really soon. I just smiled and nodded, “uh huh!”. After church I headed home to take the second pregnancy test and once again, I quickly got a positive!  We went to lunch with some friends, and had to keep this huge secret inside. I think we both had a perma grin the entire time. I quickly called my momma to tell her and her reaction was completely priceless. She must have screamed for at least a whole minute or two. I loved it. We also told Kevin’s parents today as well, and they were absolutely thrilled! We are so excited for this baby AND about the possibility of adopting Thrasher one day. I prayed for a baby and now. . . well, let’s just say God works in the craziest ways! 2 in one year. Now comes the fun of figuring out how in the world I will take care of 2 babies under 2!

It’s all about God’s timing and not mine. It took me a long time to figure that out but I’m glad I finally did.

February 1, 2010

I called my OB/GYN to set up my first appointment today. It’s set for March 11 and I’ll be almost 10 weeks along by then. 10 weeks pregnant!!!!

Is this real? Still doesn’t feel like it!

February 2, 2010

I took another pregnancy test just to be sure. Still positive!! Definitely feeling it today too. I’ve been very nauseous and I keep trying to eat to make it go away but it’s not working. We are already so in love with this little poppy seed inside my belly. The first thing Kevin does in the morning is ask how his babies are and gives them kisses. (All 3 of us now!) He kisses my belly that looks the exact same as it always has – except slightly more bloated. It is the sweetest thing in the world to me.

February 3, 2010

We are 5 weeks today and the baby is the size of a sesame seed  – or head lice – I’m not sure which one is better to think about. We have 5 weeks left to go until we get to see our little one and hear it’s heartbeat! I’m so excited. Today I went grocery shopping and couldn’t believe how strong everything smelled! Before I even got into the store, I could smell everything in the entire bakery like it was sitting on my lap. Let’s just say, that made it super hard to only get the healthy stuff!

February 4, 2010

We’ve decided to tell everyone our exciting news sooner than planned. After lots of reading about what’s going on inside of me right now, I’ve realized more and more how this is already a baby. I know a lot of people think at this point it’s just a clump of cells and isn’t really a baby yet, but I don’t believe that. I believe this is a baby that God has already planned and formed and no matter what happens. . . this precious life matters. I feel like hiding that from people is saying we think it’s not of enough importance to share. I know the reasons people don’t tell, those are the exact reasons I’ve had for wanting to wait. I don’t know if I would want to privately deal with the loss of a child, or if I would need the support of all my friends and family to get me through. . . but I think it would make me feel even worse knowing that only a few got to share in this precious babies life.