Momma issues

Something I noticed before I even became a mom has been magnified the past couple of months that I’ve had Thrasher. I’ve really gotten to see how harsh the mom crowd can be. I’m not sure what it is about being a mom that brings out that side of women, but it’s serious and I’ve seen and heard it first hand. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. All the topics that seem controversial, like. . .

- Breastfeeding vs. formula feeding

- Medicated vs. unmediated birth

- Cloth diapers vs. disposable diapers

- Stay at home mom vs. working mom

- Organic baby food vs. regular baby food

- To vaccinate vs. not to vaccinate

- Homemade baby food vs. jarred baby food

And I know the list goes on and on.

Every mom that I’ve met has almost completely different views on each one of these topics. I myself haven’t even been given the opportunity to make a decision on a lot of these things and carry them out, but I too have strong views on most of them. What I’ve come to realize lately is that no matter how wrong or right you feel one way is, it’s not always right for another person. While I’m out I’m sure some women might watch me give Thrasher a bottle with formula and judge, but little do they know I’m a foster mom and that’s just how it is. It’s helped me learn that you never really know what’s going on with another person to judge the decisions they make. I’m also learning that being a mom (especially a foster mom, and yes I will pat myself on the back every once in a while) is one of the toughest jobs I have ever had. . . and at the same time the most rewarding. Moms are just too hard on each other. Honestly, I don’t really care what kind of diapers my mom put me in or if she breastfed me or not…I just care that she loved on me constantly and taught me to be a good person and to love God with all  my heart. Those are the things we remember. So that’s my goal as I continue along this path….I will try to encourage other moms in the decisions they’ve made, even if I disagree. I think we should all be supportive to this incredibly tough job of parenting, and if someone wants to hear why we feel the way we do, then tell them. Otherwise. . . let’s be kind and non-judgmental!

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This entry was posted on Sunday, January 17th, 2010 at 5:23 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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9 comments

Juda:
 1 

You’re so very right! There is no sense in tearing each other down, as long as we do what we feel in our hearts is best and that can differ quite a lot for different women. So well put Jessica!

January 17th, 2010 at 7:06 pm
Christy:
 2 

So, so true. It’s like religion. Everybody has their own rules and ways of doing it, but that’s not the part that counts in the long run – it’s something deeper that makes the real difference.
Respect them as whole, real people – you didn’t make them, God did.
Love them with everything you have – even with your own flawed ways of loving. There’s a reason He entrusted each particular soul to each particular family.
Do your best. That’s enough.

January 18th, 2010 at 9:16 am
Mary:
 3 

A phenomenon that should never be, but is all too real. I’ve realized that just mentioning that I do/did something different, immediately puts some people on the defensive. As if by saying I chose one way I am automatically saying their way is/was wrong. It hurts sometimes. When I am asked, and tell people I chose natural child birth I’m often met with looks of disgust. Like only someone who is ignorant would choose pain. It’s never worth arguing over. I don’t even bother telling them it was home birth. And as soon as they are out of the baby stage you will hear it over the mother’s day out and pre-school choices, and then public school vs. home school or private school. I don’t even know what’s next…but I’m sure something is coming. Regardless…I will seek God in each decision and trust that His leading is best for my particular child. And I commit myself to saying nothing about anyone else’ choices.

January 18th, 2010 at 8:29 pm
Jessica:
 4 

Thanks for adding to the conversation ladies! I love what all of you had to say! Mary – I know exactly what you’re saying. A lot of people that find out we use cloth diapers quickly go into defense mode about why they don’t. I always wish they knew our decisions aren’t a way of judging their decisions that are different from ours. But your right – that is key…trusting God with all of it and letting Him be your guide.

January 19th, 2010 at 7:58 am
Cassie:
 5 

So so true Jessica. Some moms seem set on proving to the world that their way of parenting is better than everyone else’s rather than just offering their support to other moms. And I totally agree about it being the toughest, yet most rewarding job there is. And you are doing a great job!!

January 20th, 2010 at 3:31 pm
Jessica:
 6 

Thanks Cassie!

January 20th, 2010 at 5:55 pm
Matoaka:
 7 

I really enjoy your blog. Keep up the good work :)

February 2nd, 2010 at 9:35 am
Jessica:
 8 

Thanks Matoaka! That really means a lot!

February 2nd, 2010 at 2:57 pm
Deena:
 9 

Sorry the world of motherhood has been kinda rough on you. I am glad that you are pushing through with your head held high! My prayers always include you and Kevin. Thanks for being a voice for mothers.
~Deena

February 2nd, 2010 at 4:03 pm

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